For those of you who are wondering how marriage changes a relationship, I will share my experience. Being married signifies to your parents that you are now ready, willing, and anxious to take responsibility for all the accumulated souvenirs of a lifetime: your own lifetime, your spouse's lifetime, your parents' and your spouse's parents' lifetimes. John and I are waging a war on accumulation in our house. I have finally consolidated and labeled our financial records, but my mother's gift of a box of childhood report cards, school reports titled "All About Me!" and dated 1983, is now lurking darkly in the corner, waiting for another Saturday's sifting. Ugh. It sounds like complaining... maybe just a little.

More exciting is the news that Tiffany and Jon welcomed their new son, Jack, on Monday the 4th-- Tiffany predicted that due date months ago, even though the doctor thought it would be earlier. Congratulations on such a handsome baby! I can't wait to squeeze him in December, when John and I head west for a visit!

Finally, I spent part of Sunday cleaning out the last of my childhood souvenirs from my mother's basement. We added an old silk sampler, a blanket chest, and another mirror to our household, and said goodbye to all my books (only because they are mostly still in print, and I imagine my kids would prefer clean books to my mildewed old paperbacks-- however, I will miss my own original copies of the Narnia series and Anne of Green Gables). In my family, the well-worn, second-tier antiques are plentiful. The years of use are obvious-- knicks and scars abound on wooden surfaces that are split and cracked from years of humidity changes; rips and rot obscure fine needlework on quilts and samplers. After two years at Christie's, I have few illusions about the value of these heirlooms, but I did find a nice passage about patina in our weekly press clippings packet:

As long ago as the 16th century, "the patina of use was a sign and guarantee of standing...It served as a kind of proof of the family's longevity and the duration of their gentle status."
Culture & Consumption, Grant McCracken

In my case, perhaps the two meanings of "gentle" are paradoxical, considering the obvious stresses to the finishes!

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