Tuesday, May 28, 2002
I enjoyed using an inordinate amount of technology to get my dad's lunch over the weekend-- John and I took a lunch break from our move and went to Wawa for hoagies. My dad arrived at the new house while we were out, and called me on my mobile phone to see if we could add his sandwich to the order. We were already at the cashier, but carrying the phone, I dashed to the deli counter and used the new touch screen terminal to punch in Dad's order and get the receipt before the cashier totalled our order. It was excessive, but cool!
posted at 3:08 PM #
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Wednesday, May 22, 2002
When I moved to Seattle in 1992, an independent weekly newspaper called The Stranger was offered for free at every bus stop. I'm not sure if it was the font or my own subconscious, but I always mistook it for the STRANGLER. When I dared to take a copy one day, I found the content as startling as the title. It was like a college newspaper, with liberal use of the F word, and controversial articles on politics and art exhibits and general goings-on. In addition, there were personal ads for the sexually adventurous and a couple of really great columns. John loves the concept behind one called I Saw U-- if you happened to see a really hot chick/dude in your travels about town, particularly if you shared a smile with her/him, this column allowed you to advertise your desire to meet again for coffee and check the strength of the spark. For example:
I SAW U at the Off-Ramp. You had two safety-pins in your eyebrow but your eyes twinkled when I spilled my beer on that oaf that hounded me all night. Care to meet? I promise not to spill my beer on you!
If the love-object saw your ad, s/he could leave a phone number in your mail box. Although I never found an I SAW U that described ME, I read this column diligently-- I could have been spotted on the bus, or jogging on the Burke-Gilman trail, or who knows where, right? But to my knowledge, I never was.
I also read Dan Savage's relationship advice column, Savage Love. Dan Savage is a refreshingly blunt gay guy who gives no-nonsense advice to people of all sexual persuasions. My favorite column ever was a letter from a guy who met and went home with a woman just after finishing a filling Indian meal, which included saffron rice. The next morning, while the woman was in the shower, the guy did the unthinkable and had an accident, if you know what I mean, in the woman’s bed—he ran out humiliated, but just as the door clicked shut he realized that he really wanted to continue his relationship with this woman. He wrote to Dan for advice on how to get back in touch with the woman, explain himself, and take her out again. Dan very rightly said—You’re nuts! Maybe the story wasn’t true, but my roommate and I wholeheartedly enjoyed it.
[John tells me he DOESN'T "know what I mean"-- so for those who want it spelled out: the rich dinner from the night before gave the guy gas. When he passed it, he realized that he'd miscalculated and left a saffron yellow surprise in the woman's bed. Pretty awful, right?]
My favorite column of all was Rob Brezny’s Real Astrology. Even though I don't really believe in horoscopes, I still read the column faithfully, now called Free Will Astrology . I find it inspirational, thought-provoking, and sometimes just soothing.
This week's horoscope:
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Have you heard of Johannes Jensen, Salvatore Quasimodo, Roger Martin Du Gard, or Frans Eemil Sillanpaa? It's doubtful. I'll tell you what they have in common: They all won the Nobel Prize for Literature, but their books are out of print and hard to find. Let this be your starting point in the coming week as you evaluate what you're truly worth. Here are some other questions to ponder. Do you really need to be acknowledged for your greatness in order to feel successful? Do others' opinions count for more than your own when you measure your value? Are you more eager to gain the approval of so-called "important people" than of the folks whose lives are entwined with yours? Is fame worth squat?
See what I mean?
posted at 6:12 PM #
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I just read John's post on youth ministers and immediately thought of my high school German teacher, who probably held himself to the same code of conduct. (I happen to know that John is also writing about him right now on another topic, but that's pure coincidence.) I thought of Norman because he probably thought that his bizarre behavior showed that he was above the coolness-rating system that governed the rest of us. For the record, he wasn't. He was just weird.
posted at 12:53 PM #
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Wednesday, May 15, 2002
My job has made me so cynical!
This morning, the highly intellectual Y100 morning show (my favorite radio program) was discussing a new lottery game. The pot will start with $10 million in seed money, and within just a few weeks is expected to exceed $500 million for a single pot! The disc jockeys figured that if you win, you could be set for life AND for several future generations. Right?? That's half a billion dollars!
As recently as last week I would have agreed-- but I just finished a research project tracing the family tree of a prominent Philadelphia family. The first generation heir inherited $2.6 BILLION. That's right, billion with a B. But just a generation later, inheritors received only $800 million. Divide that among several children, and people are just regular old millionaires again.
The gap between the haves and the have nots is so enormous. It's overwhelming, but in a way, I find it comforting. Realizing that the fashionable socialites pictured in Vogue magazine are coming from such enormous inheritances explains why a $10,000 Cartier watch would seem like a reasonable purchase. Phew! That takes the pressure off-- I thought I just had a crappy job!
posted at 3:52 PM #
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Wednesday, May 08, 2002
John described the dynamics of a recent office meeting like this:
"Well, the account people make a lot of promises to the client, and then they meet with us [technical people] to tell us what was promised and the schedule of deliverables, and we tell them they're crazy. Then they say, 'But we talked about this yesterday!' and we tell them they're liars."
We are all apt to do this at times. Just this morning, five minutes before I was due to leave for work, John called me to say, "I forgot to tell you last night, but I promised the electrician we'd leave him a check on your parents' porch so he can pick it up this afternoon!"
I was tempted to say, "You're crazy!!" But instead I pulled through and met the deadline, just like the account people expected.
posted at 9:44 AM #
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Tuesday, May 07, 2002
John's great-aunt's estate is being auctioned this Saturday under the grandiose title, "The Thomas Family Collection of Chester County, PA." In actuality, the Thomas family is a much larger entity, represented under many different family names in Chester County, so we've all been browsing the catalogue and discussing who wants what and whatever happened to...?
I'm torn as I look at the catalogue. It's kind of sad to see family items on the block-- not because I have a use for 43 American silver spoons, but because the new owners probably will associate the monogram E.T. with a certain movie and not with Elizabeth Thomas, a name that appears in many generations of the family and belonged most recently to my grandmother. It's tough to separate the sentimental from the practical-- particularly when looking at a dozen sterling mint julep cups given to John's great-aunt as a wedding present-- but I've developed a perspective that helps: Which pieces would have stood out if I were visiting Cousin Ann at home? Which pieces would I have accepted had she offered me my pick? This keeps me focussed on those items I'd actually want to live with, rather than mourning the sale of each individual lot. Plus, it should help me stand up to my mother and John who are actually considering the purchase of a family portrait. The smirking ancestress is identified (probably incorrectly) as Mrs. Jonas Preston, and I just can't see where she would hang in MY house. Do you hear me?
posted at 5:19 PM #
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Thursday, May 02, 2002
In John's words, we went through a "fire drill" at the office today. Not the true emergency services kind with men in yellow slickers and hard hats, but the kind where late in the day somebody discovers a mistake in something REALLY IMPORTANT and makes everyone run around in circles with their arms waving in the air and steam pouring from their ears until it gets fixed.
Today I was the one who noticed the problem. It all started very innocently-- our client was scheduled to sell an important painting in next week's Impressionist and Modern sale, and I couldn't find it in the catalogue! Then I couldn't find evidence that it had been catalogued at all! After alerting the whole office so we could all run around in circles with our arms waving in the air and steam pouring from our ears, I fixed it. Turns out the painting had inadvertently been assigned two different numbers. I've emailed all over the company and told everyone what records to delete, what records to amend, and what records to ignore. Now I'm sitting here with wisps of smoke dissipating above my head and fidgety fingers and a rapid heartbeat. I can't tell-- am I feeling proud, or sheepish?
posted at 5:07 PM #
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Wednesday, May 01, 2002
Happy Birthday, Kate Smith!
A friend sent me this link-- it's the most comprehensive biography of Kate Smith I have ever seen. Admittedly, I have never done any research on her. I've learned all I know from the teasing I get nearly every day. Yes, thank you, I have lost weight. No, thank you, I won't sing this afternoon. Were my parents Flyers fans?? No, just oblivious.
In fact, for most of my life, I have been happy to share a famous name. It's only recently that the jokes have worn thin. But before I change my name, I'm going to do some research on this Kate Young person. I already know about the editor at Vogue. Any others I should be aware of? I'd appreciate some advance warning this time!
posted at 12:48 PM #
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